Masters of Gilligan

Carnal Knowledge

Adam has hit a bunch of landmark moments lately.

First bike-ride sans training wheels.  First book read.  First t-ball practice.  First profanity.

And not just ANY profanity.  The big one.  The f-bomb.  The f-dash-dash word.  The mother of all swears. 

And we're not talking "fart" here, although he did slip that one in a few weeks ago.  In fact, we thought the big one was coming when he announced "I know what the f-word is" to us at the dinner table.  Turns out, in kindergarten the f-word is "fart," and it's used liberally and to great effect.

Last Saturday, Julie and Kate went a seperate way from Adam and I.  The two of us boys went about our business, then ended up at the playground behind his school.  Apparently, someone had forgotten to put the playground chalk away after recess, because in addition to the usual "Katelyn and Olivia = BFF"-style graffiti, the middle of the playground was now sporting a large and apparently visually appealing instance of the f-bomb.

I tried to hustle the boy past it as we made our way towards the slides, but apparently those four giant letters were too much to resist.  He stopped in his tracks, and turned around to see what had been written.

Now up until this point I've been pretty proud of the boy's ability to sound out unfamiliar words.  He's pretty good at it, and up until now that's been a good thing.

I suppose I could've just moved him along, but I've always been of the opinion that if you don't react like the sky is falling when they're used, those words quickly lose their appeal.

So I stood there as Adam slowly sounded it out.

Ffff.....uhhhhhh......k.

Followed closely by "Daddy?  What does 'f**k' mean."

Now you'd think that given my above statement about taking the mystery out of such words that I would've given him a watered-down definition, along with an admonition not to use such words -- but in a classic moment of inconsistent parenting I sidestepped the issue in about as clunky a manner as possible.

"Umm -- that must be somebody's initials."

Thankfully, he didn't ask me WHOSE initials, sparing me from having to fabricate the personage of one Francis Umberto Charles Kennedy, who clearly needs to be more careful in where he writes his initials.

I'm Just Sayin'

Let me start with this disclaimer: I've always known that I would never be a stay-at-home mom.  I just don't have the patience for it, plus I like to work.  My mother would say that I don't have the patience for anything but that is a different entry.

With Bob and I both working there are some times when our schedules can get hectic, such as coordinating us leaving work to pick up of the kids and getting to t-ball practice by 5:30 on Mondays.  It's hectic and I don't necessarily agree that practice should be at 5:30 on a weekday but I understand why they do it and that is so all of the teams from t-ball to higher levels of baseball teams can practice on the limited number of available fields.  I get that, but what I don't get is that in a world where more and more families have two working parents, the people who could make things a bit easier don't use their common sense to do so. 

Case in point.  Adam brought home a flyer which stated that discount tickets for the school's picnic at Kennywood (our local amusement park) were going on sale at Adam's school.  At 10:00 am.  On a Friday.  Not going to work for those that work but there was no alternative purchase method for those who couldn't make it at 10:00 on Friday.  Since the discounted tickets would save us $56 on four, I decided that it was worth asking about alternatives at the school office.  After dropping Adam off at the before-school care, I stopped in the office to see if someone could tell me who was coordinating the sale.  Let's just say that the encounter left me wondering who is running our school and what has happened to plain old common sense. 

The office admin and the principal were in the office.  I asked if there was an alternative to purchasing the tickets at 10:00 that day.  The principal indicated that I could have dropped off the money with them for the tix.  Unfortunately I did not have $80 cash with me and they would not accept checks.  It would have been nice if that had been mentioned in the original flyer, guess I should have used my Magic 8 Ball for the answer.  She then stated that they were also on sale at the middle school which is across the street the following week (which included the newly invented April 31st). I said that I saw that on the flyer but that there was no time listed so I had to assume that it was also 10:00 on a weekday.  At this point I am waiting for the light bulb to go off in one of their heads, at least the principal's head since she is a working mother herself.  But alas there was no lighting of bulbs and no recognition of the inherent issue at hand - 10:00 on a weekday just doesn't cut it for working parents.  They kept telling me that I could go to the middle school to buy them and at one point the principal announced that the office probably closed around 4:00.  Well a hell of a lot of good that does me.   I am not asking the schools to completely rearrange the way (I assume) they've always sold Kennywood tickets. I would just like them to use some common sense and realize that not everyone has the ability to show up between 10a-4p to get tickets, provide a reasonable alternative and announce that alternative in the flyer.  So after getting no where with these ladies and feeling myself getting more and more frustrated I left before I let my inner bitch seep into the conversation.  Now that I reflect back in it, I wonder if it was a lack of common sense or the fact that they just didn't care.  I am guessing around a 40%-60% split.  

All is not lost and Adam will get to go to the school picnic on Saturday since I am getting the tickets via a neighbor who was nice enough to agree to buy them for me.

[[BTW, I am no longer going to refer to myself as being "bitchy"; from here on in, I will be "saucy".  It has a more pleasant ring to it.]]

Kate's 4th Birthday

Some scenes from Kate's small birthday get-together.  Click any image to embiggen.

 
I like the one above primarily because it's one of the few that we've taken that show Adam's unique eye-coloring.

 

 

 

 

 

Every Rose Has Its Thorn

 
 

Yeah, because when I think of eco-friendly activities, using up a lot of water and dumping a ton of fertilizer on the ground in order to grow prize-winning roses is the first thing that comes to mind.

Or is Mary re-creating the Raymond Burr role from Rear Window?  Has anybody seen Ted the Grifter lately?

Random Thoughts

The hubby is living it up in San Francisco so you are stuck with me again.  A few completely non-related updates/comments.

- In a follow up to the story I posted about the family of the local accused cop-killer behaving badly, over the weekend an additional story was reported.  The grandmother of the accused chained herself to the stair railing outside the house (a.k.a. crime scene) and said she would remain there until the police let her in the house to get her stuff.  The police actually cut the chain but still the grandmother remained.  Two of the neighbors held a protest to the grandmother's protest by standing near the house with black wreaths as a tribute to the fallen officers.  The neighbors vowed to remain there with the wreaths for as long as the grandmother was there.  As of this writing, I am not sure who is where because (a) the police were to release the crime scene on Monday or thereabout; and (b) I don't want the local news because is it not actually news 90% of the time.

- Ithink that our mayor could learn something from the mayor of Mississauga, Canada.  She is in her eighties, still plays hockey and has managed to keep her city debt free, has built up the riverfronts and has a no-nonsense kind of attitude.  Watch for the tips, but stay for the music video at the end.

- Adam had his first t-ball practice on Monday night.  In order for you to get an accurate vision in your heads, picture grown men trying to herd cats and that was how the practice started out.  Eventually they got the kids sorted out and had them batting, catching and fielding.  I forgot Adam's mitt, so he had to borrow one...a pink one from the sister of one of the kids on the team.  My first thought was "oh no, he's going to have a fit over a pink mitt" but he took it in stride.  Adam did okay with his hitting and catching, at least as good as a soon-to-be six year old can be.  His fielding needs some work, namely his understanding of boundaries.  At one point he was at short stop position and was trying to field balls hit between 2nd and 3rd base.  We're going to have to work on that.  At the end of practice, the coach asked the kids for suggestions as to what the name their red team.  One kid suggested the "Red Lobsters", Adam suggested "Cheetos".  There was a vote, and it was a 4-4 split.  Adam tried to sell his name to the voting public, but in the end the coach made the decision to name the team the Red Lobsters and bring Cheetos for the kids to eat at the end of the first game.

I am speechless.....

...and for those that know me, that is a feat in and of itself.  I read this article today and my outrage began:

Suspect's Family Complain About Police Conduct

The family of he-who-shall-not-be-named is complaining about the treatment he received once taken into custody stating that he was beaten by police.  How they know this, they won't say.  If you look at a photo that was released of HWSNBN it appears that he does have a scratch on his face with some minor cuts, but guess what?  Not only is that probably a side effect of getting taken down by a SWAT team, but he'll recover.  Unfortunately that cannot be said for the poor officers that he fatally shot, presumably without warning as they entered his house.  He is lucky that a small cut is all he got because I am sure that it took every ounce of self control and training to kick in for the SWAT team to take him down with minimal injuries. 

Let's take a look at some of the other outrageous statements made by the family of HWSNBN:

- The grandmother of HWSNBN accused the police of stealing her purse which contained $3,020 and some checks that needed to be cashed.   I don't even know where to start with this one. 

- The family has been unable to enter the house to get their uniforms for their jobs.  Um...let's see.  It's a crime scene and in light of the circumstances I think (insert fast food restaurant name here) will loan them a temporary uniforms.

- They want to give respect to the police officers' families and stated "We do feel really badly about it, but we can't do nothing about it."   Honestly is that the best they can come up with?

- The family is"baffled" by what happened.  Really?  Baffled?  Your son has been stockpiling weapons, is into conspiracy theories, frequents white supremist websites and you are baffled?  Just when you think that the parenting bar has been set as low as it can go, someone comes out of the woodwork to show you that said bar can indeed be lowered. 

At the end of the article you will see that the family of HWSNBN have apologized for their statements (i.e the ones above) which were caused by their "confusion, shock and grief" and they will make no further comments.  

From the entire Pittsburgh region I thank you.  I am curious, however, as to the identity of the person who had the common sense to tell them to shut their damn mouths. 

Bram Stoker's Mary Worth

 

"...Are you enjoying your glass of blood?  Reason I ask, is....see...I REALLY enjoy it.  Really, really, REALLY enjoy it.  And there are others, too.  And, see, well, we have this club..."